i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
