Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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