You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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