Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
