I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Randomize
