Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize