You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
