this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
