Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(815): View more from Illinois

Why did you send me a picture of a dick?

(630): View more from Illinois

It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.

Fav 15 1032 1721
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(214): View more from Texas

Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.

Fav 24 6010 1465
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(616): View more from Michigan

a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning

Fav 29 6218 1503
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(651): View more from Minnesota

just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.

(1-651): View more from Minnesota

called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.

Fav 18 6527 1956
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(229): View more from Georgia

Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes

Fav 3 943 1280
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(859): View more from Kentucky

That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.

Fav 1 1723 745
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(623): View more from Arizona

It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.

Fav 15 955 3670
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(575): View more from New Mexico

If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.

Fav 3 261 247
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(501): View more from Arkansas

I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"

Fav 0 64 6
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