so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize