clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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