I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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