I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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