I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
