she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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