your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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