i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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