no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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