no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
