if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Randomize
