I wannas sexs uuuuu
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Randomize
