I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
This is not my ceiling
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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