kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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