Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
What a fucking waste of an outfit
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
