HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
My ass is underappreciated
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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