am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize