wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
