Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
