belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
