I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
