I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
