fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
