Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
