and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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