Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
