Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
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