we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Just puked most of my soul out..
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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