Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
