I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
