no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
