my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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