so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
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