she woke up with a sticky ear
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
