does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
