Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
