Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
