Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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