I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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