No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
