Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
