I wish I only lived at night.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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