How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
