my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
