My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Randomize
