she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
