If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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