I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
You dont lie about slip and slides
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
