you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
