Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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