so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
