this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
