Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
