I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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