I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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