i just google imaged poop.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize