Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Randomize
