I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
she woke up with a sticky ear
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
