she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
