____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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