You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I woke up under a house in Key West
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
